“I’m making a difference when it really matters”

I work as a Marie Curie Healthcare Assistant at the Marie Curie Hospice, Bradford. It'll be 11 years in January. The team I work with makes me so proud. Everyone has got the same ethos, everyone is here for the same reasons, everyone works the same way, everyone's got the same goals and standards at heart.

We get to know people quite well and we get quite invested with their families. I worked in A&E and intensive care before, and that was like the complete opposite – you patch people up and get them in and out as quick as possible. That's the name of the game. Whereas at the hospice, you take that time, you get to know how people have their tea, which side they like to sleep on, how their wife has her cup of coffee.

We assist with meals, with personal care, a lot of repositioning for those people who are unable to move so we're there to make sure we keep any pressure damage at bay. There's a lot of support for relatives as well – we're there for them if they need a chat.

For me personally, I just want to try and make the worst possible situation for a patient slightly better in any way that I can. Whether that's finding a common interest with them, like music or pets, I make sure I'm not just having clinical conversations with them.

I lead the hospice choir, so singing is a massive thing for me. There's a lady in the hospice at the minute who loves Christmas, so we always put a Christmas playlist on while we're having a wash and things. I suppose it's just hoping, even for like 20 minutes, to just distract them a bit and bring a bit of joy.

I love it when we're able to create nice memories for people or do things that they wouldn't be able to do in hospital or at home. It's often simple things, like we have a drinks trolley. Sometimes people are so sick of tea and coffee, and when you suggest a glass of wine or a gin and tonic – the look on their faces! People are like, "Patients can have a drink?!" As long as it doesn't interfere with any of your medications or anything, why not?

It's great, too, when we can create little parties for people's birthdays, or if people have got young children, movie nights and things like that.

We've got a big conservatory in the middle of the unit where we've put up a massive Christmas tree – it's up to the ceiling – so that feels special. We do a lot of memory boxes and things at this time of year, especially for those who have children and want to write them letters for next Christmas. We don't shy away from it; we go whole hog here really.

In the choir, we're currently rehearsing for the Lights to Remember service, where we'll sing Christmas carols in the conservatory. We open the doors so everyone can hear, or patients can come down in their beds or wheelchairs to listen.

When you work in other healthcare settings, you're just not able to create those moments due to staffing, timing, resources. But we can give that time to people here. That's the most rewarding bit.

When I first started, there was a girl who was the same age as me and it affected me for days. To the point where I thought, "I don't think I can work here." But then I remember speaking to one of the social workers and she said, "When you stop caring and stop being bothered, then you need to stop working here." I always think about that.

A few years ago, there was another young woman and she had two young boys, and she was with us for a long, long time. She got married here. When she died, a few of us went to the funeral because we had spent so much time with her. You don't become friends, because you've got professional boundaries, but we'd go in and chat with her. Or on our breaks we'd go in and sit and have a cup of tea with her, because we just felt like this could be any one of us. We bonded with the whole family.

Then there was another lady who got married at the hospice, and me and the ward clerk, Lesley were the witnesses. That felt really special.

It's a bit surreal being part of weddings at the hospice. You're really invested in it because you know how important it is and the reason they are doing it – there are the normal reasons, people love each other, but it's also because they know what's coming. It's all a bit bittersweet really, they're always really emotional.

By the time most people get to us, they've had a lot of hospital stays, and they're very keen to not go back into hospital but still to have some form of treatment. It's really important that we can provide that for them in a more homely, less clinical environment.

So we encourage people to bring in their own toiletries and their own pyjamas if they want to. We want them to feel comfortable, feel themselves, it gives them back a little bit of their identity. They can have all their loved ones and all their home comforts, but if they need pain relief or any assistance, we're there instantly.

Staying in hospice can be a horrific time for anyone, but we just try and make that time – nice isn't the right word – but as nice as possible. People always say, "Gosh how do you work at a hospice?" But actually, most of the time, there's a really lovely atmosphere. There's always laughter. We try to give people moments of light here and there.

All rights reserved. Contact stories@mariecurie.org.uk for more information.