In the latest episode of On the Marie Curie Couch, bereavement expert Jason Davidson meets Andi Oliver.
Andi Oliver is a chef, TV presenter, radio broadcaster and singer best known for presenting Great British Menu. Andi lives in Clapton, east London, just across the road from her TV presenter daughter, Miquita. In this episode of On the Marie Curie Couch, Andi sits down with Jason to talk about the experience of losing her brother Sean at 27 to sickle cell anaemia, a blood disease that affects people from the African diaspora.
Intertwined lives
"We were really close. We were in a band together. We did everything together. You know, we were proper siblings. We used to fight and love each other, and fight and love each other. You know, we were together a lot, possibly more than most siblings, because we were on the road on tour together all the time, as well as just being brother and sister. Our lives were very, very intertwined and when he died a part of me just shut down completely."
Like setting cement
"Each day, putting one foot in front of the other was like walking through setting cement. The thing about bereavement, the thing about losing somebody close to you, is that when it happens – it's a bit like having a baby, oddly. When it happens, everybody's there. Then the funeral happens, or whatever ceremony you have happens, and everybody goes back to their life. And you're still there, in the loss, in the death, in the bereavement."
"They imagine, after about four or five months, that you're coming through [your grief]. That you're getting back on your feet again. In my experience, I just really wasn't."
Listen now
Tap the link near the top of this page to listen to Andi's chat with Jason. Alternatively, listen to or download it via Acast, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd prefer, you can read a full transcript of the episode.
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Content note: discussion of death and grief with reference to themes/topics that might be triggering or upsetting.