In the latest episode of On the Marie Curie Couch, bereavement expert Jason Davidson meets Cariad Lloyd.
This month, Jason is joined by podcaster, comedian and actress Cariad Lloyd. Cariad hosts Griefcast, an award-winning podcast in which she talks to well-known people about grief. You might also have seen her as a panellist on QI, acting in Peep Show or Toast of London or heard her across BBC Radio 4. Cariad's first book, You Are Not Alone, is out now and chronicles the grief lessons she's learned along the way, plus those of some of her podcast guests over the years. In this episode of On the Marie Curie Couch, Cariad talks to Jason about the lifelong experience of losing her dad, Peter, to pancreatic cancer when she was 15.
Not like the movies
"The reason I'm so zealous about people talking about death and dying is [my dad] didn't. He refused to talk about it, he kept saying, 'I'm going to be fine' and he wouldn't talk to us about anything. It was really hard. We didn't have any Hollywood moment where he said, 'hey, I'm dying and this is what I think'. This is the reason I do Griefcast, the reason I've written this book. We didn't have a particularly positive, peaceful death experience. His actual death was peaceful but in terms of talking about it, it wasn't very positive. That's why I've now become someone who thinks it's really important."
Your grief is your own
"Grief is a completely unique experience. My brother and I have grieved completely differently. Raised by the same man, in the same house. Your grief won't look like anybody else's and what I've needed has changed as I've got older. That took me a long time to get my head around. When you get your grief, when it's given to you, it's so solid and real and raw and almost tangible that you can't imagine it changing. But your life grows around this very painful experience and then the very painful experience starts to change in relation to your age, especially if you're young."
"There's a part of us that we're preserving because that's who [the person who died knew]. Even though very logically you're like, it doesn't matter, they're not coming back. There's another part of you that's like, they might. I need to make sure this piece stays so I remember them."
Listen now
Tap the link near the top of this page to listen to Jason's chat with Cariad. Alternatively, listen to or download it via Acast, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd prefer, you can read a full transcript of the episode.
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Content note: discussion of death and grief with reference to themes/topics that might be triggering or upsetting.
