“The professionalism, care and warmth from the nurses was incredible”

Just over a year and a half ago, mine and my wife's life got completely turned on its head. My mother-in-law, Marlene was experiencing some back pain but her GP had told her it was fine.

Eventually, she went into hospital for a scan. They found seven tumours. She was 73 and was told there was nothing that could be done – that was it. She died four weeks later and Marie Curie Nurses were there to support us.

What I loved is the way they spoke to Marlene. Even if her eyes were closed, they talked as if they were still open. It was beautiful.

Then, in December 2022, my mum, Anne (pictured above, right), discovered her cancer had come back. She had non-Hodgkin lymphoma and was given a stem cell transplant to prolong her life. The treatment worked but when she was recovering she caught infection after infection. Her body just couldn't take it.

I felt as if I'd known the nurses who were there for years. They had this incredible way of just walking in and right from the first day I felt "I know you; I've met you before."

The conversation didn't feel awkward. It just felt like they were one of my dear friends and went "Right let's do this, leave that to me." I think that's what I needed and what other people in the family needed: someone to take control and know exactly what to do, because it just hits you like a brick wall and you think "What do I do next?"

Mum was sent home as we were again told there was nothing they could do. She died nine days later. Marie Curie Nurses were there to support us again.

We lost Mum and Marlene within 11 months. Marlene was diabetic and tough as boots. Her arm could fall off and she'd say, "It's ok I've got another one" – that kind of character. Marlene's husband John is in his 70s and he's got a bad back, so Marlene needed people there to help with her day-to-day care. That's when Marie Curie got involved. They came to wash her and sit with her.

Marie Curie isn't just there to look after someone who's terminally ill. They're there to look after the family who are supporting that person and to try to make it all more manageable. I wanted to find a way to say thank you for the incredible care both our mums received.

My mum passed at about 8.30am on 29 December. The Marie Curie Nurse came in around 10pm the previous night and said: "Do you mind if I open the window?" In the morning, the nurse said: "I could see that it was nearly time for Mum to go, so I did that to let her spirit out." It was beautiful.

They checked in on my mum's partner because he'd lost his first wife to bowel cancer. When he knew Mum was going through treatment it brought back a lot of memories and he would talk to the Marie Curie Nurses about it. They could see he needed someone to open up to.

That professionalism, that care, that warmth they radiated was incredible. They had the ability to say "Mum's at peace, Mum's not in pain. Tell us your best memory of her."

I'd run the Cardiff half marathon several times and when I got to my 8th time, I said "That's it! I'm not doing that again!" This was a few years ago. I got a bit poorly, took some time out and put running on the back burner. Suddenly I had the motivation to start running again.

I'd had some heart problems before I started training. My mum had a hole in her heart and they were worried I was similar. I was given the all-clear seven weeks before the half marathon was due to take place. I love a challenge and thought "Let's do it!"

I set my fundraising target as £500, because I wasn't sure how much I could achieve. My workplace said if I could raise a decent amount, they'd match it.

I messaged everybody I knew, put £100 of my own money in, shared my own donation and at work asked if every colleague could give me £1. Then... bang! It just went like a rocket. My phone was buzzing constantly.

Of course, the money's not the thing. I'd give anything to have both ladies back. But I was just blown away.

I've got a lovely picture from the day of the run. Marie Curie supporters were cheering at mile seven for the Cardiff half. I spotted them in the distance with their bright yellow tops and I had pictures of my mum and my mother-in-law on my back.

I jogged over, pointing at my back, and the cheer I got was unbelievable. They caught a picture of me looking up and clapping to the sky with my eyes closed. It's so beautiful. I have it framed.

It's hard to explain what it was like to see two people go through what they went through, so when my legs were tired, I'd had cramp or a dodgy knee, I'd think "Neil, this is nothing."

I didn't run for a time or anything like that, I just wanted to make sure I could take in the atmosphere and every time I saw a Marie Curie runner or supporter, I'd just make that conscious eye contact, clap, and tell them to keep going because I could relate.

Marie Curie was there for us as a family. Whether it was to talk and ask questions, or in the midnight hour so we could get some sleep. My mum lived in a place called Llandysul near Carmarthen, so it was a 200-mile round trip for me from Cardiff.

We'd sleep on the floor in the living room. It was very similar with Marlene. Her medical bed was brought into the living room, but Marie Curie made sure we managed some sleep and were fully charged to take over the next morning.

The difference Marie Curie made coming was huge. My wife is a healthcare support worker. She wanted, of course, only the best care for Marlene and wanted to do everything herself. Having Marie Curie there meant we knew if my wife wasn't there, the level of care was exactly the same.

My father-in-law did as much as he could,but he's not a carer. Even though they'd been married for 50 years, for a husband to do certain types of care for his wife can be difficult and upsetting. But for Marie Curie to simply say "Rest, have some dinner, leave it to us, we'll make you a cup of tea, whatever you need" – he was supported as well as my wife.

I've never been very spiritual. I've never been a churchgoer. But there's something that I just cannot explain.

On the way to get Mum's belongings, I asked my wife to put a song on that reminds me of Mum. She loved Dirty Dancing, so we put Hungry Eyes on and immediately I smelled this waft of my mum's perfume while I was driving down a country lane. When we got to Mum's house there was a white feather outside her door.

For weeks I was finding feathers. I found one in my slipper a few weeks ago.

On the day she passed, I was with the Marie Curie Nurse making tea. I looked through the kitchen window and there was a robin. And when I went to pay respects to my mum, two robins appeared, which I'm told is very rare as they're very territorial.

I can't explain it. I take comfort from that. I know that both my mum, Anne, and my mother-in-law, Marlene, are looking down, saying "You done good, boy."