“At Marie Curie we value and celebrate LGBTQ+ people's identity and relationships”

When someone is dying, the big questions often come up.

It's so important that Marie Curie is totally inclusive, so everyone can talk freely about their feelings and worries, whatever their gender identity or sexuality. This is an emotional, uncertain time for people living with a terminal illness, and those close to them. People want to make sense of who they are, and what – and who – matters to them.

These are all parts of what makes us who we are. We support people holistically. We know that being lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, transgender or any other identity, doesn't mean someone just fits into a collective identity.

No-one should miss out on care and support they need, because they feel it's not open to them, that they will not be understood, or that they will be judged. People should feel that their identity and relationships are actively seen, valued and celebrated.

I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. My work is so rewarding because I know we can make a real difference for patients and those close to or caring for them. And the key to that is really focussing on people as individuals, understanding who they are and what matters to them, whoever they are.

Visual symbols of commitment can be powerful. Growing up gay, I knew that a rainbow flag outside a place meant my friends and I would find solidarity and acceptance there. That's what gave me the idea for the rainbow-coloured walkway that we've painted at the entrance to the Marie Curie Hospice, Bradford. We want to send that message: everyone is welcome.

But we know that inclusive palliative care for LGBTQ+ people goes deeper. Marie Curie recently funded new research, It's more than rainbows in reception, Working with LGBTQ+ people in palliative and end of life care, in which people from the LGBTQ+ community and palliative care professionals explored experiences of, and barriers to, end of life care.

People may have had bad experiences with healthcare previously – being treated negatively or differently, or having assumptions made about them. We must recognise that this can stop people from accessing care, or mean they shut down to psychological or emotional support.

In our report, one lesbian woman in her 60s explained why her partner of 25 years was reluctant to seek hospice care at the end of her life. In previous healthcare experiences, it had been assumed they were sisters, with their actual relationship never recognised.

For me, building trust is key, so people know they can talk about what matters to them. It's about compassionate, person-centred care and core values. We respect people as individuals, and we respect their choices and identities. And maybe I think even harder about inclusion if I feel someone has faced barriers.

The language we use, and the way we get information, are important in giving inclusive care to LGBTQ+ people. Open questions invite them to share what they want to, so we can make sure their choices are respected. When I'm meeting a patient, I ask who the people that are most important to them are. I don't assume someone has a wife, or a husband, or that they do or don't children.

I always try to get to know the people that are most important to my patients. By understanding their support networks, I can help the patient and their carers appropriately. And supporting the carer helps the patient too.
I often comment on the support I see couples give to each other. I worked with one same-sex couple recently where naming the bond between them helped them both to feel more peaceful and freer to say what they wanted to say.

Sometimes there is conflict when someone is dying, or a concern that there might be. Someone from the LGBTQ+ community might worry about differences of opinion between their partner and wider family. Making their wishes known, while they have the capacity to do so, through advance care planning, can help resolve that.
I support patients to address things like power of attorney, making or updating their Will, and recording personal care preferences, which can otherwise cause distress.

I'm lucky to work in an inclusive, supportive place, where I feel valued and respected for who I am. Having a workforce that reflects our diverse community matters. So, I'm genuine and open, and I hope that helps build a connection. I'm proud to wear my Pride badge.