“We’re sometimes the first person who takes the time to listen to what’s happening”

I've been a Clinical Nurse Specialist with Marie Curie for seven years and worked with the charity for the last 23 years. We get referrals from any professional: GPs in the community, consultants or nurse specialists in the hospital, social workers.

Patients are then triaged and we call them about what we do. Nine times out of ten, they want to meet us. Some patients we meet early on in their diagnosis; others quite near the end of their life.

You're being invited into their home, so you're working very much with the patient and their family. Much more than when you're in a hospital.

It's about putting the person at the forefront of all your discussions and decision making. It's spending time with patients, which is why I love this job because it really allows me to do that. It's a privilege to get to know patients and families; it's a difficult time in their lives but I meet such lovely, lovely people.

It's not all about someone dying. If we get to know somebody earlier, then it's about helping them live before they die. It's about focusing on what's important to them, having quite difficult discussions but ensuring that you're doing the right thing for them when the time comes and their condition deteriorates. And that could be days, weeks, months, even years. It's about appreciating that we're not just there for the end of life care.

I remember being astounded as to how well Hayley had been coping up to that point. Matt, her husband, had been having seizures and was in and out of hospital and she didn't have any support in the community.

She wasn't engaged with her GP or district nurses because Matt was heavily involved with the oncology team in the hospital, and so was Hayley. That community aspect of support wasn't there and we spoke about some of the things that could be put in place. She hadn't heard of any of it and I think was a bit stunned as to how we could change things.

She was exhausted; he was exhausted. She could see his condition changing. She knew the way things were heading.

Hayley felt the burden of having to have difficult conversations on Matt's behalf about whether to continue treatment. A big part of our job is sometimes just discussing that, talking it through and saying it's OK to have these thoughts and concerns.

It was looking realistically at what was happening for Matt and what the future held. A big part of my input was about advising Hayley on best approaches in terms of caring for Matt and putting things in place to make sure Matt could be looked after at home.

It's heart-warming to hear Hayley's kind words because my involvement with Hayley and Matt was for a very short time. Sometimes we're the first person who just sits down and takes the time to listen to what's happening.

A lot of people want to be looked after and cared for at home. I feel really sad that there are people who aren't able to be cared for at home now because of the lack of social care.

Without your donations, we couldn't provide support for patients in my area. Families are so engaging with donating because they can see the value in the work we do. Donations allow more people to die at home.