PODCAST: On the Marie Curie Couch with Tom Read Wilson

Actor and wordsmith Tom Read Wilson trained at the Royal Academy of Music and is best known for his appearances on E4’s Celebs Go Dating. He’s also been a dating guru for Roman Kemp's Capital Radio breakfast show and is the host of the Tom Read Wilson has Words with… podcast.

In this episode of On the Marie Curie Couch, recorded in lockdown via video call, Tom opens up about the death of his close family friend and ‘third grandma’ at 86, who he affectionately knew as ‘Gan’. He also talks movingly about the death of his beloved uncle, who took his own life.

“My family are very good at employing humour at funerals, especially if it’s a very elderly relative. [When Gan died] it was a very busy crematorium. We arrived and this host of Hell's Angels came through. My uncle said, ‘I didn't realise she was a Hell’s Angel.’ It was the most wildly incongruous sight and it really, really tickled me,” says Tom.

“My family weaponise humour a lot in those kinds of situations. I remember suddenly being aware of what a conscious tool it was. My knee-jerk reaction was, ‘Surely you can't make a joke here?’ because it was my first funeral and it seemed awfully grave. I thought, ‘Wow, that humour’s rather macabre.' Then I thought, ‘Actually, maybe that’s best possible way.’”

“Discourse is so important. I wrote a poem about it (see below), about the use of euphemism, and it is funny, it’s amazing how rich a pageant of euphemism we have for death, compared to other countries even. Cashing in one’s chips, kicking the bucket, popping your clogs, breathing your last. I mean, it's absolutely endless,” says Tom.

When it comes to death
Alas, the discourse often dies.
We cannot help but kill it
We have to shield our eyes.
But of course, occasionally,
It’s something we must know
And so we use our lexicon
To wrap it in a bow
“Pushing up the daisies” or
“Falling off the perch”
Oh-And I’ve invented one-
It’s “Filling up the church”.
A nifty euphemistic phrase
Is often the device
To make the toughest subject
Sound like something nice.
Whether landing “belly up”
Or “cashing in you your chips”
We the see the act then
Use our words to partially eclipse:
But I shall not punitive
About this little trick:
Some find a wordy tweezer
Will help remove the prick
Just promise me that when a loved one “takes their final bow”
You’ll talk. Just talk. And talk some more.
It doesn’t matter how

Tap the link near the top of this page to listen to Tom’s chat with Jason. Alternatively, listen to or download it via Acast, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd prefer, you can read a full transcript of the episode. Be sure to like and subscribe so you know when we’ve uploaded a new episode – there are more conversations coming soon.