At the hospice, we see a lot of people nearing the end of life and approaching death in different ways. As their doctor, here’s what I’ve learned about how people prepare and what can help to make it easier.
I’m interested in people and enjoy hearing them talk about their lives and what's important to them.
People often ask me if it is depressing working in palliative care. Caring for people when they’re dying can be emotionally challenging. But palliative care is about helping people live as well as they can in the face of a terminal illness.
If you can make a difference by improving someone’s quality of life, even for a short while, that is incredibly rewarding.
The way people react to knowing they'll die soon can vary from denial, anger, fear and disbelief to a stoical acceptance of their situation.
There can be a great sense of loss around their physical decline, bringing with it loss of independence and with change in role in family and society.
Emotional and practical worries
People worry about what lies ahead. Who will make decisions for them, what happens when you die, and whether it will be painful, whether there is life after death, and how their family will cope without them.
Other concerns can be more practical. For example, how they'll cope at home as they become weaker, and where they'll be cared for if it's no longer possible to remain at home.
Financial concerns can also be a significant issue along with getting their ‘affairs in order’.
I'm humbled by the peace some people can find when they reach a level of acceptance that they're dying.
These people see it as an opportunity to say the things they want to say to those they love, to set short term goals and make some memories for those who'll be left behind.
Learning from my patient, Tracy
Tracy Jameson was one of my patients. She spoke very openly and eloquently about how it feels to know that you are dying in the BBC documentary Miriam’s Dead Good Adventure with Miriam Margolyes.
I first met Tracy when she was transferred to the Marie Curie Hospice, Glasgow from the Queen Elizabeth University Hospital last October.
Tracy was a remarkable woman. She'd worked as an assistant head teacher for children with learning disabilities.
Her priorities were firstly as a Mum trying to prepare her daughters for life without her and secondly as a teacher allowing others to learn from her experience.
While she was in the hospice, she invited medical students and training doctors and nurses to learn from her case.
What can help someone facing death?
In my experience, listening and being there with them is the most important thing: exploring their worries together and offering reassurance and support.
Being a part of the hospice team, we can help with many of the practical issues that come up, to ease the burden for patients and families.
A sense of control
Preparing for death can bring a sense of peace and control.
Everyone will die one day, and taking practical steps like making a will, appointing a power of attorney when you are well can help to build your peace of mind.
Speaking to those close to you about what matters to you and what your wishes would be if you became unwell can help too.
What matters in life?
If my work has taught me anything, it’s to make every day count, and not to take anything for granted. Life’s too short!
