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"They've all said thank you. It really encourages you."

28 Dec 2023

3 min read

Scotland

By Steve Goody, guest blogger

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Steve Goody smiling as he looks straight at the camera
Steve volunteers as a Marie Curie Companion in Glasgow. Here, he reflects on why he volunteers, the people he helps and the benefits he feels from offering companionship.
I've been lucky in my life. Overall, in the hand that life dealt me. I'm retired, so I've got time on my hands, and there's the usual thing that I guess everybody says, but it's true: to put something back, to help others.
My wife, Karen, died of cancer in 2015. For a couple of nights, she had a Marie Curie Nurse just to give me a break because she was at home. She did go to the Marie Curie Hospice, Glasgow to see if that was where she ultimately wanted to be, but she decided she wanted to be at home. She had three or four days in the hospice, so I got to know that environment as well.
As a Companion, it just seemed a good thing to be able to contribute something positive.

Helping a range of people

I've been matched with four people now and every single one has been different. When you visit people in their homes, you get a better feel for the person. You know what's going on around them and you think, 'Maybe we should be asking them about this or trying to help them with this.'
The person I was previously matched with was a lady with dementia. Her husband found the visits really useful because it meant he had a couple of hours talking to somebody who could respond. It's difficult when your partner's got dementia and you're trying to get a conversation going or just talk about things. So although I was matched with her, I probably spent more time with him.

I've been matched with four people now, and every single one has been different.
Steve
The person I'm with now, he's struggling a bit because he's finding himself in a position he's never been before. He's losing his independence and his mobility. He only wants to talk for about an hour or so. I know when he's ready because he'll say, 'Oh, are you coming again next week?' and that's the signal he's had enough.
It's been a process, getting to know a bit more about him. He's quite open most of the time. I usually phone him before I meet him, just in case he's either got somebody else around or he's not feeling that brilliant.

"It's important to be honest"

Some of the things people say can be surprising. Obviously, what's going on in their mind is sometimes difficult to anticipate. But it's humbling as well, the way they deal with things and the way their family deals with things.
The important thing is to be honest. If they ask things like, 'What should we do with this?' and you don't know, then I just say, 'I don't know, but I'll try to find out for you.' Overall, it's just a good experience.

Helping in a difficult situation

I enjoy speaking to different people. It makes me go out and do things. When you retire, you've got to have a plan. Otherwise, you end up thinking you'll do this or that but then you go, 'No, I'll do it tomorrow.' Doing this means that you've got to go and do it. You feel a lot better for it and it encourages me to then go on and do other things as well.
It's very fulfilling because they've all said thank you. You know that you're doing something that's helping them when they're in a very, very difficult situation. You get thanks for doing it, which encourages you to do it as well.
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Published: 28 Dec 2023
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