For many people, talking to friends or family is the support they need when they're grieving.
But you might not have friends or family who you feel you can talk to at this time. Or you may feel more comfortable sharing difficult feelings with someone who does not know you. You might then want to look into other ways of finding one-to-one support.
If you think you could need professional support, one of the ways that you may be able to get this is with bereavement counselling, also called grief counselling.
Watch: What helps with grief?Watch: What helps with grief?
Carol, Wendy, Gen and Scott share what helps them with grief. They find keeping busy, exercising, talking with others helps.
Do I need bereavement counselling?
Grief is a natural response to losing someone important to you. There's no right or wrong way to grieve and it feels different for everyone. There's also no timescale for grief. So how long it takes for you to feel like you're beginning to both grieve and live again, will be different for everyone too.
But if your emotions are so intense that you feel you cannot go on, or if you are struggling to cope with your day-to-day life in the way that you did before, then you may need to see a bereavement counsellor.
If you need immediate support then call the Samaritans on 116 123 – they are open 24 hours a day, every day.
What is bereavement counselling?
Bereavement counselling is support from a professional counsellor who is trained and qualified to help with your feelings of grief. You can talk to them about the person who has died, about how their death is affecting you and how you are coping. Using counselling skills, the bereavement counsellor will help you to understand your feelings. And they can help you begin to adapt to life without the person who has died.
How do I get bereavement counselling?
We’ve listed below the different ways that you may be able to get bereavement counselling. Where you live and what services are available in your area will make a difference to the support you are able to find.
Some of these services might not offer counselling – they may offer general emotional support or different types of psychotherapy. Check with them if you're not sure.
Speak to your GP
If you think you might need professional bereavement counselling, then you should speak to your GP. They may be able to refer you to a counsellor. They may also be able to give you information about local counselling services and support groups.
Through a hospice
Many hospices, including Marie Curie Hospices, have bereavement support services for families, including bereavement counselling. This is usually for close family and friends of people who have received hospice care. How much support they can give will depend on their resources.
Through your work
If you're employed, you may want to check if your organisation has an employee assistance programme. If they do, then it may offer their staff a set number of free counselling sessions. Ask your manager or human resources department for information.
Sue Ryder
Sue Ryder offers online bereavement support. It includes six sessions of online counselling with a professional, and an online bereavement community.
By paying for a counsellor
You can also find a counsellor privately and pay for sessions. To find registered psychotherapists and counsellors in your area, search the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) online directory. Costs will vary. Many therapists have their own websites explaining how they work and what to expect.
More ways to find grief support
There are other ways to find support after someone dies – including one-to-one grief support from a trained volunteer.
Marie Curie Bereavement Support Service
Our telephone Bereavement Support Service offers free bereavement support from a trained volunteer. Use our form to get in touch if you'd like to speak to someone about booking regular, on-going bereavement support sessions.
The Bereavement Support Service is not bereavement counselling. It's a phone support service where specially trained volunteers give you a safe, confidential space to discuss your feelings and emotions around bereavement.
This service may not be suitable for people who need a greater level of support, such as counselling or psychotherapy.
Cruse Bereavement Support
The charity Cruse Bereavement Support offers a range of bereavement support, including sessions with a trained volunteer who can help you to develop coping strategies.
Other types of grief support
Some people prefer to find grief support through, for example, an online community. Or by joining a local grief support group.