Respite and taking a break

Caring for someone can be physically and emotionally exhausting, and carers struggle to find the time to look after themselves. You may feel unable to leave the person you care for but taking a break can help you provide better care and avoid burning out. Find out who can help you organise a break, and how to make sure your friend or family member gets the right care while you’re away from them.

A respite break (sometimes just called ‘respite’) is a temporary break from caring where someone else looks after your friend or family member. This might be in their home, or they may go to a care home or a hospice.

How long you take is up to you and the person you care for. Some carers like to have a few hours’ break every week. Others want less frequent but longer breaks or a holiday. What you do with your break is up to you. You could use it for a hobby, getting some fresh air, socialising with friends, or relaxing and catching up on sleep.

Caring for someone can take up a lot of time and energy, and you may spend most of your time every day caring. Many carers spend an average 70 hours a week caring for someone in the last three months of their life. Even at night, some carers describe themselves as ‘sleeping with one eye open’, always alert to the needs of the person they’re caring for.

Having some time to yourself can help you relax and feel better, especially if you’re tired and your sleep is interrupted. Respite breaks are also an opportunity to catch up with friends and family, and may help if you’re feeling isolated and lonely.

Depending on the services available where you live, you may be able to organise different types of respite care, including:

Start by talking to the person you care for about taking a break and decide what arrangement would work best for you both.

Depending on your needs, you can then:

When you arrange a respite break, you’ll have a chance to talk about how and when you wish to be contacted while you’re having a break.

You’ll need to contact your council or trust. Your local social care services will assess your needs and those of the person you care for.

They’ll ask you about the type of respite break you’d like and let you know what’s available in your area.

You and the person you care for may choose to organise and pay for respite using a paid care worker.

Your council or trust may organise a financial assessment if they decide your friend or family member needs replacement care while you take a break. They’ll decide if they will pay for replacement care, and if the person you care for needs to contribute.

They may charge your friend or family member for replacement care like staying in a hospice or care home, or having a paid care worker coming to their home while you’re away. They may charge you for any specific support for you.

You may choose to pay for respite yourself if your council or trust will not cover the costs. The person you care for could use benefits they receive to cover the cost, such as:

You may be able to get a grant to help pay for a respite break through:

A professional like your GP, nurse or social worker may need to refer you or help you make an application.

You may want to think about how friends or family can help if there are no respite options available to you. Speak with the person you care for to see how they feel first.

You could also ask friends or family to help with other things, like shopping, cleaning, cooking or looking after pets.

It can be frustrating if your friend or family member refuses respite care if you feel you need a break. If it becomes a problem, try speaking with the GP or district nurse. They can help explain why it's important you get a break from caring, guide the conversation so that everyone's heard, and find a solution that works.