Bereavement leave and asking for time off

If you've been bereaved, you may need to take time off work to grieve. You may also have practical things you need to do, like registering the person's death and organising the funeral.

You need to tell your line manager or HR team about a death if you need to take time off work. You may find it easier to send an email or text rather than speak on the phone or see them in person.

Most employers will be supportive, and it can be useful for them to know how you're getting on. So, it can help if you can let them know when you will be in touch next. Otherwise, they might worry about contacting you at the wrong time, or too often, or too little. You could also suggest to them how or when you would like them to contact you in the coming days or weeks.

You may also want to tell your manager if it's OK for colleagues to know that you've been bereaved, or if you would rather it's kept private. And you can say if would like to hear from people or not.

Bereavement leave is time off work that's been agreed by your employer, following the death of someone important to you. It can also be called compassionate leave in some workplaces, but this can also include other reasons for being off work. For example, to care for someone who's ill or to visit someone in hospital.

There is no straightforward definition of 'somebody important'. Aside from family members, the death of a friend, colleague or pet can be just as devastating for some people. If your employer has its own bereavement policy, it should be flexible and take individual circumstances into account.

You may be legally entitled to time off work if the person who died was:

If the person who died was not your dependent or child under 18, there is currently no national legal right to time off work, but it is rare to be refused.

If your employer does not let you have bereavement leave, you can use your holiday allocation or ask to take unpaid leave.

If taking bereavement leave means that you then miss out on a promotion, training, or other benefits, you can complain. If you need support at work and you're in a trade union, you can contact them. Or you can get advice through Acas or Citizens Advice.

Legally, employers only need to give paid bereavement leave for 'parental bereavement leave', also called Jack's Law. This is for parents of a child under 18 who has died, or parents of a child who was stillborn after 24 weeks of pregnancy.

In other cases, you do not have a statutory legal right for paid bereavement leave.

But many employers do offer paid bereavement leave and they may have a bereavement policy.

You can check whether your organisation has a bereavement policy or a policy that covers compassionate or special leave. Even if it is not covered in a policy, your employer may agree to paid time off on a case-by-case basis.

From our research with employers, a typical amount is five days paid leave, but it's often more than that – two weeks is quite common.

While bereavement itself is not an illness, the death of someone important to you may leave you in shock, or you may experience depression, anxiety, or both. Your employer needs to take your circumstances into account. If you take time off as sick leave, you may then be entitled to statutory or occupational sick pay.

If you're struggling to cope and it's affecting your health, speak to your GP. They may recommend different types of support, including bereavement counselling.

It can be hard to know how much bereavement leave you will need. Some people find the routine of work helps and they want to go back. But many people need time away to process their feelings, as well as deal with arrangements and their responsibilities.

Remember that taking time off to process your feelings is just as important as taking time to sort out practical things. Do not feel guilty about needing time away from work. You have experienced one of the hardest things in life and looking after yourself now can help you to feel better able to work again in the future.

You might need bereavement leave to:

Let your line manager know the date of things like having to attend a coroner's court, travel arrangements or the funeral service. This will help them to understand what your needs are and arrange cover for your work.

By sharing your feelings as well as your responsibilities with your manager, they should be able to provide flexible support (including leave) based on your personal circumstances.

Your employer might agree to let you have several months' bereavement leave or longer, if you need it. This may be unpaid.

If you're on long-term bereavement leave and do not feel able to go back to work, make an appointment with your GP. They may give you a doctor's note saying you're not fit to work because of the bereavement, which may help you make a case to your employer for staying on leave longer. Your employer may also ask you to have an occupational health appointment.

The death of your friend or family member may mean you have new caring responsibilities. For example, you may need to support a parent who is now on their own. Or you may be looking after a child by yourself if your partner died. You can talk to your employer about long-term flexible working options. Provided you've worked for your employer for at least 26 weeks, you have a legal right to make a flexible working request, although your employer does not have to agree to it.

Some employers allow a flexible working request from the start of employment, so you should check your policy and speak to your employer about your circumstances.

Above all, communicate regularly with your employer and let them know how you're feeling. Most employers are supportive and will do what they can to help.

Some larger employers have employee assistance programmes, which offer helplines and counselling. You can check with your employer to see what support is available. This is usually a confidential service, which means that your employer will not be given any information about what you say to the counsellor or helpline advisor.

Your employer may also have an occupational health service, which is a type of medical service that can help with any health-related issues that have an impact on work. You can check if your employer has an occupational health policy that may be able to support you.

There are no set policies that say how much time off school or college children and teenagers can take when someone close to them dies. It depends on how they are, the family, and the school's policy. Get in touch with the school as soon as you can. Many schools have bereavement policies in place and you can talk to them about how they can support the child or young person.