There are things you can do to make the room or home of someone you’re caring for more comfortable. A few small adjustments can make it a better space for their needs. And can make it a more relaxing and welcoming place for them and people visiting them.
This information is written for a carer, family member or friend of someone with a terminal illness. But you may also find it useful if you’re living with a terminal illness.
Finding out about their needs
The person you’re caring for may find it frustrating if they cannot do things like switch on a light or close the curtains in their room. And if there’s medical equipment or medications in the room, this may make the room feel less personal. It could also feel less welcoming for others.
There are things you can do to help someone feel more comfortable in their room or home. Start by asking them how they’re feeling, and if there’s anything in the room that they’d like you to adjust or change. You may find that how they feel changes from day-to-day, and that something that they liked one day is not right for them anymore.
Respecting someone’s privacy
There may be times when someone you’re caring for wants to be alone. Try to respect their privacy, especially if you share a room or bed.
It’s best to ask them if they feel they want to have a visitor before you agree it with others. You should also ask them if there’s anything in the room that they’d like you to move or put out of sight if they have a visitor. This could be things like medication or any aids or equipment.
Being comfortable in their bed or chair
If the person you care for is spending more time in bed or a chair, they may need to change position regularly. This can help them stay comfortable and avoid putting too much pressure on certain parts of their body. Ask their healthcare team for support with moving someone safely.
You can also get extra pillows for them, or ones that are specially shaped for support, to help them sit up.
Someone may not feel relaxed or comfortable if the room is too hot or cold for them.
Things you can try to help them feel more comfortable include:
- adjusting heating or their bedding
- opening the window or having a fan.
Space to move around someone’s bed
It can be important to make sure that you have the space you need to care from someone safely who’s spending time in bed.
You might need to be able to get to both sides of the bed. If this is difficult because the room is too small and they have a double bed, you may want to talk to them about getting a single bed instead.
Lighting
The person you’re caring for may want to adjust the light in their room or home during the day. Things to think about include:
- positioning their bed or chair so they can have natural light and can see out of a window
- helping them adjust blinds or curtains to avoid glare or being dazzled by sunlight
- having bedside lamps and lights with dimmer switches that they can use themselves.
See Music, TV and computers below for more information about how technology and smart home devices can help.
Photos, pictures and objects
Having personal things around you that matter to you or have happy memories, can help you to feel comfortable and relaxed. You may want to ask the person you’re caring for if there are any special or personal things they’d like to have in their room. For example, things like:
- photos and pictures of people or places important to them
- flowers or cards
- objects or ornaments that have special meaning.
Noise
Noise can be stressful for someone who’s unwell and needs to rest or relax. If they need to sleep or want time to rest and relax, try to keep their room or home as quiet as possible.
Music, TV and computers
Technology can help someone living with a terminal illness to do things they enjoy and keep in touch with others. If they have a laptop, tablet or smartphone, these are some of the things they may want to get, or use:
- Streaming services to watch TV, films and listen to music.
- Audiobooks from the library or Talking Books from the Royal National Institute for the Blind (RNIB).
- Smart home devices (like Alexa or Google Home or Hive) so they can control things in the home like the radio, the heating and lights.
- Social media and messaging services to keep in touch with friends and family.
Sometimes people become less interested in things when they feel unwell. Respect their wishes if they now do not want to listen to music or watch something they used to enjoy.
Having things close by or to hand
It can be helpful for the person you’re caring for if the things they need are close by and easy for them to reach. This could include things like:
- glasses
- hearing aids
- books or notebooks
- headphones
- clock
- tissues
- their phone, tablet or laptop
- a drink
- the TV remote.
The GP, district nurse or occupational therapist may be able to arrange for them to get a table or tray that goes over the bed. A tray or table over the bed can also be helpful for when someone’s eating or drinking.
Pets
For some people, being able to have their pet with them or being able to spend some time with their pet, can be very comforting. It can help with their mood and support their wellbeing.
If it’s possible, they may want to have their pet in their room with them or on their bed. Or you may be able to bring a pet to them for times when it’s practical and safe to do this.
Helping someone with activities and relaxation
If someone wants to do things like read, listen to music or chat, then be guided by what they want to do.
If the person you’re caring for wants to go outside for a while, you may be able to help them to spend time sitting in a garden or a local park.
Relaxing can mean different things to different people. You can ask the person you’re caring for if there’s something they’d like to do and try not to pressure them if not. Someone who’s ill may just want to relax quietly without needing to do things.
Complementary therapies for relaxation
You may want to speak to the person you’re caring for about trying things like complementary therapies to help them relax.
Complementary therapies are treatments people can have alongside their medical care, which may help them to relax. They include:
- aromatherapy, where you use essential oils in a warm bath or oil burner
- reflexology, a type of massage for hands and feet.
Before trying any complementary therapies, it’s important to speak to the person’s GP or district nurse to find out if they’re safe for them.
If relaxation is difficult
It can be upsetting if you’ve tried different things but someone you’re caring for is finding it hard to relax. There are things you can do to help them get the support they need to feel more relaxed. These include:
- asking them if they’d like to speak to someone about any worries they’re having
- check if there are any changes in their symptoms or pain
- speak to their GP or healthcare team.
You may also want to speak with other people in similar situations on our Online Community, who may be able to share tips and support.
Feelings and worries
As your friend or family member becomes more unwell, they might need more support from you. This can bring about lots of different feelings for both of you. You might find some of the tasks physically and emotionally difficult. The person you care for might feel a loss of control and confidence. And they may be worried about losing their dignity and privacy.
If either of you have concerns or feel uncomfortable, speak to the GP or district nurse. They can talk you through the options and organise for someone to help with your friend or family member’s personal care. You could also ask for a professional to be there to support you the first time you carry out a care task. If they’re not able to be there in person, they might be able to give you support over the phone.