Celebs Go Dating star says his uncle’s death was the most ‘harrowing thing’

Actor and wordsmith Tom Read Wilson, best known for his appearances on E4’s Celebs Go Dating, has described how his uncle’s suicide left him feeling ‘distraught’ when he appeared on the latest episode of the podcast series ‘On the Marie Curie Couch’.

Tom’s uncle died seven years ago and he explains that the unexpectedness of it made him realise that ‘the death, rather than the concept of death, became the most harrowing thing, because everything about it felt wrong.’

Describing the moment his mum told him the news he said: “I was cycling home and was aware of my phone furiously oscillating against my bag. I pulled it out, and there was something staggering, like seventeen missed calls from my mum, and I thought, 'Oh my God, this must be very serious.' I locked up my bike and I stood there, there were tonnes of people around, it was a very sunny day. She told me and, you know, I was absolutely distraught. Distraught.”

Speaking on the latest episode of the podcast series, from the end of life care charity Marie Curie, Tom opened up about the death of his close family friend and ‘third grandma’ at 86, who he affectionately knew as ‘Gan’ and how laughter at the funeral helped with his grief.

He says: “My family are very good at employing humour at funerals, especially if it’s a very elderly relative. [When Gan died] it was a very busy crematorium. We arrived and this host of Hell's Angels came through. My uncle said, ‘I didn't realise she was a Hell’s Angel.’ It was the most wildly incongruous sight and it really, really tickled me.

“My family weaponise humour a lot in those kinds of situations. I remember suddenly being aware of what a conscious tool it was. My knee-jerk reaction was, ‘Surely you can't make a joke here?’ because it was my first funeral and it seemed awfully grave. I thought, ‘Wow, that humour’s rather macabre.' Then I thought, ‘Actually, maybe that’s best possible way.’”

In a wide-ranging conversation with podcast host Jason Davidson, a bereavement specialist, Tom also reveals how he would like to be buried when he dies.

“In fact, I had a conversation because I'm a big old greeny, and I was talking with my dear friend who's my colleague on Celebs Go Dating, Paul Brunson. We have talked about death, and I suddenly thought, 'do you know? It's quite important that I think, as somebody that's very environmentally driven, to think about how I'm buried.'

“So, I decided that I would like a green burial, where I'm, sort of, buried standing up so that I don't consume too much space, and a tree is planted on top of me. You know, it's a new kind of burial that's been devised to be as green as possible and to not give off any emissions when you die. I suddenly thought, 'Actually, that's a rather lovely thought, that doesn't chill me at all.'

“Most of my family were cremated and not buried but, you know, I suppose I want what is left of my flesh to do as much good as it possibly can. If it fertilises a tree's roots, and then that tree is sequestering CO2 in its lovely canopy, then dead me will be very, very happy. My hovering spectre somewhere will say, 'Good for you, tree.'”

Tom Read Wilson’s ‘On the Marie Curie Couch’ episode will be available from 27 June to download from ACast, iTunes or wherever you listen to or download your podcasts, you can also listen at mariecurie.org.uk/talkabout/podcast  

Marie Curie can help you and your family open conversations around death and dying. Visit www.mariecurie.org.uk/talkabout to find ideas and tools to help you get started.